so you imagined the day

where the hurt was finally found

you had looked everywhere

started countless searches

but all that really mattered you

thought

was that the finding would be enough

that once at your destination

that falling from a cliff feeling

that separated your waking from sleeping would finally end

but all the lines are forever open

and everything is like glass

even you

so when you touch

there seems to be blood

flowing backwards to it’s source

hi

Things happen fast around here. One day I’m living alone in a studio apartment and the next week I’m in a beautiful, very large house, with three other people. I need to get camera, because this house is just lovely. You should see the kitchen! Also, there is a huge backyard and front yard. I face when I sleep now, Orion above my head. I know there is a poem in there somewhere.

Yesterday I caught a matinée of Into the Wild, near my house. I was very low energy and just feeling kind of blah, so the film really affected me. To be honest, it’s a little long. But just when I felt the tension dissipate, the ending came along and knocked me out, it was so intense. Even though I’ve read the book several times, so I know the ending, it still packed a wallop.

What I recall most is the cinematography, which was stunning, Emile Hirsch’s lovely performance; when he sees the caribou? running and his eyes well up with tears. Just perfect. Hal Holbrook. Hal Holbrook. Hal Holbrook. He broke my heart. The music fit perfectly and the story, which I’m sure everybody knows by now is really a quest and I certainly could and can identify with it. Some people are searchers, while others don’t feel that need to question and look. Christopher McCandless was definitely a searcher.

So I guess I feel sad after the film but hopeful and full of the fire that comes from seeing a piece of art.

I’ve been feeling more than a little blue lately, maybe it’s the time of year. But the promising news is that Friday I have an appointment to finally try hormone replacement therapy, or at least to find out more about it. I’m hoping that taking this step will help my state of mind and my insomnia.

You see, I didn’t know that loneliness had levels.

It’s going to be a long winter.

Sf Gate has a nifty article on the brassière entitled, Bras – a century of suspension.

okay, that looks really uncomfortable…

I’ve been hearing bits and pieces from the Robert Plant and Allison Krausse collaboration, called Raising Sand. I’ve liked it. Tonight I heard the song, “Please, read the letter” and now I’m hooked. An awesome song, written by Page and Plant.

And another thing, check out St. Vincent. She’s one of Sufjan Stevens backup singers.

Oh, and then there is bon iver
I knew there was something good about myspace. It’s the unsigned bands!

I almost forgot Peter, Bjorn and John ……

The fabulous Missoula radio station, “The Trail”, is now streaming live. Check it out!